First take out liability insurance with an expensive insurance company. Then commit a crime by buying some weapons in one of the joke shops. Pay the fine imposed by the police and claim your insurance do this a few times and voila.

Using a terminal, dial a joke store and ask for "ice cream". The flavors are actually aliases for weapons.

Ice Cream      Weapon
Chocolate      Poison
Lemon          Bombs
Strawberry     Bazookas
Vanilla        Flame throwers